Yes, I'm About to Relate to Joy Behar

Now this is getting a little bit cray cray.  While I can sometimes understand having a Facebook status that goes something like "Suzanne Somers is MADDDdDDDDdddD SHWASTEY" (and by sometimes I mean never), I refuse to even pretend to understand why anyone would want a status along the lines of this "Suzanne Somers is WANTING TO TASTE WHITNEY HOUSTON" or this "Suzanne Somers is about to kill Paula Abdul" or this "Suzanne Somers is so alone right now and could use a friend."  This, kiddo, is Facebook not DrPhil.com.  (Don't get me started at that fat piece of crap.  I belong to the Kathy Griffin school of thought in regards to him.)  So, please, PUH-LEASE, do not reveal the details of your personal life via your Facebook statuses.  Don't do it.  It's worse than doing coke off of a toilet seat.  Which clearly is vile and way too kinky for anyone this side of watersports.

Yes, I just said watersports.  Ewww.  I'm going to go wash my hands now or use some Purel like Joy Behar did to that skeevy Bachelor's face.