No More Hot Pockets!

Scratch that.  I'm thinking it's just staying hydrated.  haha.  Though I do have a Founder's Day menu planned out:

Breakfast-  Bagel with mimosas

Lunch-  Sandwich with screwdrivers

Dinner-  Pizza with some jungle juice

Dessert- ...okay at this point I don't think I'll even know what I'm ingesting.

Here's hoping that by the next meal I won't be throwing up.  : )

Hot pocket?

I think I found the way to ensure one will not be hurtin' on a Saturday morning.  Hot pockets.  I don't know why I ate so much random shit last night—I don't smoke—but I did, and it was pretty glorious.  And this morning, I'm great.  Like I'm feeling amazing.  And it's gorgeous outside, aka I'm about to take my top off and go lie in the sun.  Okay, so I was also really hydrated last night, but I feel like I always am?  Who knows.  I also mixed beverages (not literally), but I thought that was bad?  Anyway.  I guess I'd better stock up on water and hot pockets for Founder's Day.

Journey to the Center of the Petty

You know your friendship is on the fringes when you're not tagged in one of those epicly awful facebook notes.  I'm just saying.  Times like these you learn who your real friends are (aka the ones who remember your fear of nipple infection but assure you everything will be fine, the ones who buy you vodka in Baltimore so you can sing Captain and Tenille while plastered together, you know, the classy ones).  That's just two of my friends.  But you know who you are, and...all together now:  Thank you for being a friend.

IDK...my BFF Lil' Kim!?

Lil' Kim is my new BFF.  Seriously.  I'm in love with her on DWTS.  She actually trumps the adorableness of Shawn Johnson in my book.  And that's hard to do, let me tell you.  I feel as though Shawn's very obviously cute:  all American teen, Olympic gymnast, goofy, smiley, spirited.  Lil' Kim is the kind of cute that sneaks up on you.  Most of it has to do with her self-awareness.  She and Derek danced to..."Jailhouse Rock."  LOLz.  She legitimately seems really nice.  Extremely chill.  And we already know that she ain't a snitch.  WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED IN A FRIEND?  

I need some B in my life!

For crying out loud, I need to quit this introspective bullshit.  It's so unbecoming...like horizontal stripes on anyone who isn't the size of an Olsen twin, velour, and jumpsuits...or most specifically a horizontally striped velour jump suit.  Yes.

Anyway, I'm debating over how you can tell if something is 'too late.'  I mean, I'm only 19, so I don't know how I can really give up on somehow when there are potentially 60 years for him/her to change.  (But do I really wanna wait for our lives to be over to know if a relationship will turn out fine?  Yeah, Paula Cole actually makes sense here.  Go figure.)  Like a friend who never has time for you but still says, "I love you."  Or someone you never bothered to be friends with and then wondered why he/she isn't nice to you.

How long do you wait for that friend to wise up?  I have almost completely stopped IM/text/facebooking said friend and naturally our communication is currently around nil.  But I still find myself annoyed over and even obsessing with it.  I have such guilt issues, I suppose.  But I feel as though I've done so much already.  And I don't know if I have the nerve to tell someone that they blow at being a friend.  (It's like a fucked-up Golden Girls anthem:  "You suck at being a friend.  We travel down this road and back again.  Your heart may be true, but you ain't a pal nor a confidant.  And if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, 'I wish you were a better friend.'") 

Onto my second person of issue.  I keep meaning to say something.  I really do, but is it worth it?  If we're not going to have to deal with each other soon, can I just let it be?  Or would it make more sense to take a chance and try to make the rest great?  This one I'm more conflicted about because the ball really seems to lie in my court.  (Did I seriously just use a basketball metaphor...and a cliched one at that?)  But then again, it doesn't.  It lies at half-court.  I guess it always does though.  Ugh.  Sometimes I wish I could just go be a hermit.  But I'm too high-maintenance for that shit.  Please.  

This is why Beyoncé and I should really be friends.  We wouldn't have these problems.  B and I would have a very honest and open friendship where we could tell each other any and everything.  And if we had trouble communicating, we'd do it through song and/or dance.  If that didn't work, we'd create alter egos to express our bad sides.  Worst case scenario, we'd call up Oprah and have her moderate for us.  Gayle could come, too.  She's a peach.

Box o' Wine

Last night I ended up in a random TH where a party wasn't even going on.  But we were invited in, I swear.  And they offered us boxed wine.  I mean, how great is that?  That's just priceless friendliness.  I wish I were that easy-going.  I don't know if I would invite strange freshmen into my home to drink my alcohol if I weren't having a party.

I just thought that it was significant enough to recall.

Also, our campus is SERIOUSLY small.  I think I saw everyone I know in that Strong party, at the TH's, and then at the Mug (including those delightful boxed wine ladies)!  Which basically makes me question how people hook-up.  You WILL see them again.  Probably at Sunday brunch at the DC.  

Actually, I'm Eloping to Atlantic City in About an Hour...

Why do we need excuses to look nice?

Shouldn't being pretty be reason enough?  

It doesn't seem to be.  Apparently, there must be some ulterior motive to wanting to feel good about oneself. 

But, of course.  There's gotta be somewhere to go.  Something to do.  (There's gotta be something better than this.  <-Shout-out to my Cy Coleman followers.)

Are we, ourselves, not good enough to suffice?

Vanity is a virtue, dammit.

This is what happens when I try to fulfill a major requirement...

Here's a little shout-out to anyone else who was planning on taking Asian American Lit (aka ENGL 229-01):  WTF VC!?  I go to pre-register for my classes like a good student, and low and behold, it tells me that ENGL 229 is CANCELLED.  Oh, nuh uh.  Girl, hold me back!  I was planning on taking that mofo class!  And BESIDES, it's still in the Catalogue and Schedule of Classes!  UGH.  That's just straight-up ridiculous.

It Ain't That Cute, RiRi.

Does anyone remember that SNL skit that was something like "I'm single and LOVING IT!" where everyone really hated being single.  I think that's me right now.  Except not really since I'm being open about hating it.  So maybe I'm like the end of the sketch?  Anyway, I decided that being single isn't really fun.  At all.  In fact, I really dislike it so much that I almost want to be in a relationship just to be in one.  Yes, I know that's pretty crazy like wearing latex anywhere but on your dick.  But I can't help it.  

And this is how I realized that I don't really know how to make a relationship happen.  I pretty much live in a world of women, which isn't doing me any good.  While having a lot of friends, pretty ones at that, is fun... it's not THAT fun.  I wish I could like take a course on it or something!  I'm a good student.  Or read a book, after all, I like to think that I'm occasionally literate.  But that'd make me feel a bit more pathetic than I could handle.  Whole pride nonsense.  

So, I'm about to get into a fight...with myself.  I need to find a way to, as a friend put it, "broaden my horizons" and "open up my options" while still feeling like I'm who I am and making sure I'm comfortable.  Okay, maybe that's not possible.  I suppose uncomfortability is key, right?  I have to move out of my 'comfort zone'...and I guess if that's what it takes, I'll do it.

And so this little introspection makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw specifically but maybe one of the other 1920312 female leads who narrate TV series with questions about life.  I think that might just be the problem.  Again, women.  At least I don't menstruate.  

Think!

I was soooo good at posting and then I just kinda fell out of it.  But a dear platonic sex partner of mine and I have been feasting (rather gorging) ourselves on the delicious cornucopia that is karaoke.  We 'raoke like we're drunk 30 year olds at a singles' bar.  We do some good Motown, but also rock Michelle Branch like nobody's business.  (Least of whom...Michelle Branch).  Moving on, I think Motown just really cranks out some good karaoke tunes.  Speaking of which, I'm dying to do Aretha Franklin's "Think."  C'mon, just picture me...skinny white boy doing "You need me and I need you!"  hahah.  Pricelessness that is 'raokin', baby.